A tee that behaves like an heirloom — only friendlier.

Somebody has to say it. This shirt just gets there first, in stacked red slab serif big enough to read from across the office before you've had coffee. If your face already does this on a Monday, the shirt is just catching up to your expression.

Wearing it is less a statement than a public service announcement. It tells people to keep their meeting requests to themselves for another hour. The type is cracked and worn at the edges, like a sign that has been standing outside a diner since before either of you were born, and that battered look does most of the talking: this is not a motivational shirt, it is a witness statement. People who hate Mondays will nod. People who love Mondays will keep their distance, which is honestly fine.

If you're one of those insufferable morning people who's chipper by 8am, this one's going to grate on you, so go find something in calm or minimal instead. Everyone else: the red is a hard, saturated fire-engine shade, printed with water-based ink cured low so the crack in the letters flexes with the fabric instead of sitting on top like a sticker. It's stamped on 210 GSM combed cotton with taped shoulder seams, heavy enough to hang straight through a full day of slouching at your desk.

Wear it enough Mondays in a row and it stops being a joke and starts being a small, accurate weather report. Pick your size above.

• Fabric
  100% ring-spun combed cotton, single jersey knit
• Weight
  210 GSM — mid-weight with structured drape
• Fit
  Classic regular fit; runs true to size with a generous shoulder
• Print
  Water-based direct-to-garment, cured at low temperature
• Neckline
  Ribbed crew, reinforced with double-needle stitching
• Origin
  Fabric sourced in North Carolina; printed in the USA
• Certification
  OEKO-TEX Standard 100 inks and dyes