A tee that behaves like an heirloom — only friendlier.

Every rec league has a guy who knows which of the three this is going to be by halftime. The shirt names all three outcomes before the game even starts, which is either a warning or a promise depending on who is reading it off your chest.

It is drawn like a scoreboard that has seen some things: cracked, chipped block letters stacked three deep, fading from bright Teal at the top to a darker brick by the bottom line, like the ink itself got tired. A loose cursive OR is wedged sideways between BRAWLIN' and BAWLIN', the one soft shape in a design built entirely out of hard edges. Nobody who has ever fouled someone on purpose and then apologized will read this shirt as decoration.

If your idea of a good time does not involve elbows, skip this one and go look for calm or minimal instead, before somebody boxes you out for the last rebound. The type is printed with water-based ink cured low, so the crack and fade in the lettering stays soft against the skin instead of turning into a stiff patch you can feel through the cotton. The 210 GSM cotton underneath has enough weight to survive a real pickup game, not just a photo of one.

Wear it to the gym a few times and it stops being a joke about ballin' and brawlin' and starts being an accurate scouting report. Pick your size above.

• Fabric
  100% ring-spun combed cotton, single jersey knit
• Weight
  210 GSM — mid-weight with structured drape
• Fit
  Classic regular fit; runs true to size with a generous shoulder
• Print
  Water-based direct-to-garment, cured at low temperature
• Neckline
  Ribbed crew, reinforced with double-needle stitching
• Origin
  Fabric sourced in North Carolina; printed in the USA
• Certification
  OEKO-TEX Standard 100 inks and dyes